A Touch of Moonlight (A Court of Moonlight Book 1) Page 9

  “I realize you don’t know me very well, but trust me when I say that you don’t want to live with Lord Trazar. Where Farin wants this to be your decision, whether you’re prepared to make it or not, Lord Trazar would demand you do as he says. If Farin has offered you his protection, don’t turn it down. We won’t be able to protect you if Lord Trazar officially and publicly declares you as his heir. You’d become his property to marry off as he wishes.”

  Rina blinked. “Property?”

  “According to the old laws, yes. Farin, Sadoren, and Sealar don’t believe in those laws. The old laws are void here and in their courts, but most of the other lords share the same sentiments as Trazar.”

  “How many courts are there?” Rina asked as the manor came into view. Dorn and Amber stood at the side of the road, having stopped to wait for them to catch up before going the rest of the way.

  “Eight, and the heirs of the other courts are unlikely to join us in our views.”

  Once they reached the manor, Dorn dropped back to walk with her. “Do you want me to keep blocking emotions for you or…?”

  “You can stop… but how exactly do the blocks work? Is it easier to block both or just one?”

  “It’s easier to just block projections, but it doesn’t take that much more effort to block both. You’ll understand better when we practice.”

  “Then you can stop. It’s kind of strange not to feel all of you anyway.”

  When Dorn lowered the shield around her emotions, she began feeling Ash’s and Amber’s happy contentment as they talked.

  “So what did you think of shopping?” Dorn asked.

  “It’s… different.” Shopping was unlike anything she had ever done before. It wasn’t as freeing as going into the forest, but it was a different sort of free, being able to just get something she wanted.

  After being around so many people, even without feeling their emotions, she wanted nothing more than to go sit in a tree somewhere and just listen to the wind rustling the leaves. Or to tell Tomilin. There had been so much to take in that she’d hardly thought about her brother as they’d gone from store to store. Some part of her felt guilty for enjoying herself when he was gone, but she knew he wouldn’t want her to feel that way. He would want her to be happy, to be safe.

  Rina let out a long breath as the front door shut behind Ash and Amber, leaving her alone with Dorn. She couldn’t help but turn to stare into the woods around the house. She longed to disappear into the trees for just a little while.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” Dorn said and headed for a path through the underbrush she had been staring at.

  They walked in silence. Her need to be alone and her fear of being alone warred within her. After a while, they reached a small glade, one that reminded her of the one her mother had taken her to, the one she had found Arlen in.

  Dorn turned a circle, taking in the forest, before sitting against the base of a tree in the glade. Then he stared blankly at the moss floor. It hadn’t even been a full day yet and dark circles already began to show under his eyes. She wanted to ask him to teach her right then and there. So, she could stop depending on him to block for her, but she wasn’t sure how to ask more of him. She sank down beside him, their shoulders brushing as she leaned against him, as Tomilin had leaned against her. It had always comforted her and she hoped it would him, too.

  “Your mother used to come here when she needed to be alone with her emotions. It’s far enough from the house that we couldn’t feel her.” Dorn paused for a long while, his emotions swirling between sorrow and worry and mixing with her own. “I don’t want you to come out here by yourself, but if you need to be alone—” His voice cracked, and she knew in an instant why he worried. Arlen must have told him what she had said, what she’d wanted to do before he’d found her.

  “Dorn, I…” She wanted to promise that she was past the sorrow and loneliness that had made her question why she bothered to live, but she wasn’t sure it would be the truth. She still felt that hollowness inside that hole where Tomilin had been.

  Bringing her knees to her chest, she admitted, “I can’t stop thinking about Tomilin.”

  Tenderly, Dorn wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him.

  “About how much he would have loved it here, how he would have loved you and Arlen. I would have been happy to live out our days with just the two of us, but he wanted to meet people, to see the world outside our home. He should have been the one here, not me.” She fidgeted, tapping her foot against the soft moss as tears streaked down her face. But just as the pain started to get too much, she felt Dorn’s solemn calmness pushing against her senses. She let his feelings seep into her, root her to the here and now. They had just met, yet she didn’t know what she would do without him and Arlen. She hated how it made her feel weak to need someone, but she did. She needed someone to lean on, to just be there, if for nothing else. Tomilin had been that to her. He had been her reason to get up and keep going every day, but he was gone, and his absence left a gaping hole in her heart.

  “Dorn,” she said as she dried her tears, “will you and Arlen teach me to defend myself? I don’t want to be defenseless ever again. I want to be able to protect those I love.”

  “Of course,” Dorn said. “Does that mean you want to stay?”

  “Yes,” she said, affirming the choice she had made the moment Arlen had given her one in a glade not all that unlike this one. Rina couldn’t remember ever truly feeling safe. And now she was in a land she knew nothing about, surrounded by beings far more powerful than Jake, a man she had been helpless against. She was done being weak and helpless. She refused to lose one more person, so she’d train and fight for them.

  13

  Arlen

  “Would you please stop pacing,” Amber said.

  Turning, Arlen met Amber’s glare before sinking onto the couch beside Dorn. They all sat in the manor’s family room. Normally, they would talk business in Farin’s study, but Dorn wanted to be close enough to their quarters that he could still sense Rina’s emotions.

  “Sorry, you know I hate planning.” It always felt like Rye’s ghost was there, influencing his hand, yet the decisions never felt right. Between them, Rye had the analytical mind. Alren missed being able to throw out endless ideas and let his twin sort them into coherent plans. They’d been a working unit. Where one lacked or failed, the other was there picking up the slack. Even more than a decade later, he still felt his brother’s absence like a phantom limb.

  “So you keep saying, but we need to plan if we want to keep Trazar from catching us off guard,” Amber said.

  “She’s right,” Farin added, “I’ve put out orders to regulate gate traffic to and from the Starlight and Fire Courts, but we share too much of a border with the Starlight Court to cut off foot and wing traffic. We’re far enough from the border here that we should be able to keep Lord Trazar’s spies from confirming who she is though.”

  “Won’t that just force him to come on his own?” Dorn asked.

  “Unfortunately.”

  “Wouldn’t it be better to invite him? So we can control the situation better,” Amber asked.

  “Even then, I fear that may not be enough.” Farin let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. “We also need to consider the consequences of blocking them out. Tensions at council meetings have been at an all-time high of late and this may give Lord Trazar the ammunition he needs to get Earth and Air to side with him.”

  Arlen tensed. He hated that Rina’s very existence could be the spark that ignited a war. The last time something of the like had been suggested, Lyra had left and Rye had died. He couldn’t—wouldn’t lose Rina, too.

  “Arlen.” Farin’s voice dropped to a warning cut. “I would never put Rina in danger of being hurt—by herself or anyone else. But being thrown into a war wouldn’t be any good for her either. That said, we will keep Lord Trazar away as long as possible. Tomorrow, I’ll go and talk with Sadoren and Sealar. Maybe
they can help us stem the rumors and accusations Lord Trazar is sure to spread.”

  “Sadoren knows,” Arlen said. “Jaren said he offers his help—”

  “He told him already?” Farin asked, a hint of exasperation in his tone.

  “No, Sadoren caught her scent in the hall and then cornered him over dinner.”

  Farin nodded. “I’ll still go talk to him. He needs to know what our plans are.”

  “I could go for you if you like,” Ash said.

  “No. The others and I need to start planning for the council meeting that’s in a few weeks, I’ll just make Rina the priority. I doubt this so-called heir to the throne is anything more than a power grab.”

  “Should I make arrangements to station guards around the manor?” Ash asked.

  Farin’s lips thinned before he nodded. “You’ll need to hand pick them and make arrangements for them to stay nearby. Warriors without mates would be best since we don’t know how long we’ll need them.”

  “Got it.”

  “Any plans for the rumor mill?” Amber asked.

  With a sigh, Farin leaned into the couch cushions. “No. Does anyone else? I don’t want to accidentally give them ammunition to use against us.”

  “As soon as Trazar realizes who, where, and what she is he’ll start slandering us. He’ll make us out to be holding her hostage and with the condition she’s in, he’ll like say we’ve been abusing her too.”

  Faint ringing filled Arlen’s head as guilt clawed at his insides. Rina wouldn’t be in the condition she is if he’d found her when he should have. Fingers twined with his and Dorn leaned in so close that his breath tickled Arlen’s ear. “Breathe. Whatever you’re thinking, it's not your fault. The past is in the past, all we can do is make plans for the future.”

  “Speaking of the future,” Farin smoothed the front of his vest as he stood, “we had best all get some rest. It seems we have a long day ahead of us. If any of you think of something else, leave a note on my desk and I’ll address it in the morning.”

  As Farin strode from the room, Ash slid from where she sat on the wine bar’s counter. “That means you, too, Fen.” Ash stared at the doorway on the far side of the room. “Why are you hiding anyways?”

  The shadows in the hall beyond lightened as Fen stepped into the room. “I wasn’t hiding. It’s pointless to try and hide around you guys. I just didn’t want to interrupt.”

  Ash and Amber rolled their eyes. “Sure,” they said in unison before heading for the door. Amber paused just before disappearing around the corner. “Save us a place at breakfast, all right?” She continued down the hall, not waiting for an answer.

  Fen fidgeted as he avoided looking at Arlen and Dorn.

  “What’s wrong?” Dorn asked.

  Frowning, the boy sank down in the spot his father had just vacated. “Is Rina all right? Is there anything I can do to help?”

  As Dorn let out a long shaky breath, Arlen turned toward his mate. His green eyes are duller than normal and the healthy glow his tan skin usually sports has dimmed. They hadn’t really had a chance to talk since Dorn and Rina had disappeared into the forest after shopping. They had returned just before dinner, an invisible weight weighing their steps. Dorn’s lips thinned, his gaze fixed on Fen.

  “No, she’s not, but she will be fine if given time. The priority right now is just being here for her, while also giving her space. All she’s really ever known is her brother and…” Dorn trailed off.

  His mouth opened, then closed before Fen nodded. A question clearly still nagged at him though as he stared at Dorn.

  “Spill it Fen,” Arlen said.

  “Nothing,” Fen shook his head and shifted uneasily in his seat. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Pushing to his feet, he nearly ran from the room, leaving Arlen puzzled by his reaction.

  “Is he all right?” Arlen pointed after Fen. He couldn’t recall ever seeing the boy so shaken up, other than the night before.

  “I’m not sure.” Rising to his feet, he pulled Arlen up with him. Before he could take a step, though, Arlen pulled him into a hug.

  “We’ll get through this, all of us, together.” Dorn sagged against Arlen with familiar exhaustion. It was a weight he hadn’t seen bare down on his mate since they’d turned their court on its head and Dorn had made it his life’s mission to help those in emotional pain. Nuzzling his mate, Arlen whispered, “How did I get so lucky to end up with someone so loving and caring as my mate?”

  “Oh hush,” Dorn said and leaned in to give him a kiss. But just before their lips touched, he stopped. The longing in his eyes disappeared.

  “Rina?” Arlen asked.

  “Yes.” As Dorn turned away, exhaustion heavy on his face, Arlen grabbed hold of his hand. Stopping him, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to his mate’s temple. “You go make your special tea.” he murmured. “I’ll go sit with her.”

  When Dorn nodded, Arlen let go of him and headed for their rooms.

  The night was dark enough that he drew a thin thread of magic into his palm to light his way down the hall and through the sitting room. Not a sound came from her room as he eased the door open. “Rina?” Arlen said, trying not to startle her. Curled up and trembling on the bed, she was only half covered by the blankets. Every one of her muscles was locked tight.

  “Rina, wake up.” He put a hand on her shoulder.

  She rolled, hands enveloped in wisps of shadows aimed at him. Arlen lept back, raising a shield of moonlight as Rina scrambled to disentangle herself from the sheets and back away.

  “It’s just me—Arlen.”

  As she slowly came to, the shadows faded and recognition flashed in her gaze. Sinking back down, she rubbed a hand over her face. “Sorry,” she whispered.

  He watched her hands, but the shadows were gone. Perhaps it was just his imagination, a trick of the light. “What was it about this time?” She stared at a spot on the bed long enough Arlen wondered if she’d answer him. He stayed back as he lowered his shield, letting her decide what steps she wanted to take.

  “Tomilin. They’re always about him… us.”

  “Want to talk about it?” Arlen eased onto the bed, sitting beside her.

  “Ye—” Her voice cracked and she shook her head. “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Tomilin is gone, but he’s still out there. I should have killed him, I tried but— I should have protected Tomilin, not the other way around. He endured so much so I wouldn’t have to, but he was my little brother. I should have been the one protecting him, but Tomilin…”

  Rina’s jaw quivered as she stared blankly across the room. The urge to wrap her in a hug and hide her away from anyone who would dare hurt her overwhelmed him. But the moment his hand brushed her shoulder, she shot off the bed and started to pace. Her breath was shaky. Her fingers tapped against her crossed arms as she clenched and unclenched them. She stared at the moonlit forest out the window with each turn. She reminded him of Rye when he had been imprisoned by the Fire Court. Only here, her own mind was the prison.

  But perhaps what had worked to ease Rye’s mind would help ease hers. Rye had been the same way, he always disappeared into the woods on his own when the past and the things they had done for this court troubled him. Back then Lyra would shift and follow him out in the form of a bird, keeping an eye on him as he ran it out. They always came back in together. While he couldn’t let her go on her own, he could go with her.

  “Get dressed,” Arlen said as he stood. “We’re going to go for a run.”

  14

  Rina

  She barely glanced at the two males as she drifted through the room. She wanted nothing more than to be alone for just a little while, to run through the woods on her own as she always had. But these weren’t the woods she grew up in and she had no chance of protecting herself from anyone she crossed paths with here. She was glad Arlen had suggested the run. The house was far bigger than the one she grew up in, but just as suffocating. It felt as
though the walls of the hall were pressing in on her, like the memories that just would not leave her alone.

  She left the front door wide open behind her as she strode for the woods, knowing Arlen was right on her heels. There was a flash of light and she glanced back to find Arlen was in his wolf form. He nodded slightly for her to go ahead. So, she did.

  Eyeing the path that seemed the clearest, she sprinted for it. Arlen bolted past her, disappearing into the brush beside the path. Her feet pounded over packed dirt, the roots packed down enough not to be a tripping hazard as she raced past them. The sound of flesh slapping on flesh filled her head, mixed with Tomilin’s pained whimpers. Images swam up to greet her, her brother bare from the waist down, pants around his ankles as Jake pinned him to the table.

  No. She battered the memory back with every step. Pushed herself faster until there was room for nothing but the path ahead and the movement of her body. She wove around trees, flew down hills, and scrambled up the next, never slowing.

  She ran until her breaths came in ragged gasps, pain slicing through her side, and her body shook with exhaustion, then she pushed a little further. When she could run no more, she plopped down against a tree and stared up at the moon peeking through the leaves above her. Her thoughts were finally quiet, the anger and fear that had taken hold of her burned away by the run.

  A flash of light lit up the darkness around her. Sinking down beside her, Arlen said, “You ran a lot further than I thought you would. You’ve definitely got stamina.”

  Rina broke into a laugh between choked breathes. “Says the one not even sweating.”

  “Well, you are still in your human form.” Leaning his head back against the tree, he stared up at the moon. “You know, Rye used to run when he was working through things.”

  “Really?”

  Arlen nodded. “I see a lot of him and your mother in you.”

  Her smile slipped as longing washed through her. She wished she could have met him. Wished her mother hadn’t had to lie so much that she no longer felt like she knew her. It was pointless to long for something that could never be, for something she never had in the first place. Tipping her head back, she pushed those thoughts away. “Thank you for coming out here with me. Sometimes, I just can’t stand to be indoors.”