A Touch of Moonlight (A Court of Moonlight Book 1) Page 21

  “Well, Kender tells me these two love… panthers were up rather early this morning, and ended up going for a run.” Ash dumped a helping of sliced fruit on her plate.

  “Panthers?” Amber asked. “So you do have Lyra’s other gift.”

  “Which she won’t be using again until her head heals,” Dorn said with a growling tone as he gave her a sidelong glance. “We’ll probably never hear the end of it from Wafren as it is.”

  “Meh, she can just add it to the list,” Arlen said.

  “What list?”

  “Oh, you know,” Ash flashed her a grin, “the list where we’re all horrible patients that never listen to her instructions.”

  “I listen,” Arlen sniffed, chin tipped up. “I just take creative liberties.”

  Amber snorted. “Sure, that’s one way to say it. So, what are you up to today Fen?”

  Fen shrugged. “I was thinking of knife throwing for a bit.”

  “Oh? Think you’re finally good enough to beat me?” Arlen asked.

  “I don’t know, perhaps we should find out. You up for a challenge, old man?”

  Arlen scoffed. “Watch it, kitten. Wouldn’t want to get your tail all in a twist.”

  “Fine, you’re on.” Fen grinned at Arlen before turning to her. “Would you be willing to judge to keep us honest?”

  “Um. Sure? Want to help, Dorn? They should probably have someone who knows what they’re talking about around.”

  “Of course.”

  “Should we make a bet?” Arlen asked.

  “Nope. We are close enough in skill now that I will not be making that mistake again.”

  Arlen huffed. “You’re just no fun.”

  Breakfast went on like that for a little longer, until everyone had their fill. Fen was the first one out of his seat. “I’ll change and meet you guys outside.”

  “Want help?” She asked Arlen as he gathered the dirty dishes, but he shook his head.

  “How about you go enjoy some sunshine and we’ll be out there in a few?”

  “Just stay close to the house,” Dorn chimed.

  “All right.” Rina sighed and wandered to the back porch, feeling a little left out. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed having set things that had to be done. Missed the routine of gathering water and replenishing the firewood stack in the house before heading off to check traps, fishing nets, and everything else she’d done to put food on the table. It was a hard life, yet she missed the simplicity and familiarity of it.

  Sitting on the edge of the deck, Rina hugged her knees to her chest and waited for something to do to fall in her lap. The pond rippled with the breeze and she watched the sunlight shimmer on its surface.

  The door opened behind her and she knew it was Fen without even looking. He stepped off the deck before turning to offer her a hand. He’d changed into an outfit that was more silver than black, his sleeve now lacking the evidence of their run. She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. “So have you ever tried throwing knives?” he asked as he led her across the field, her hand still in his.

  “No. I’ve only ever had one knife and it was just one I found and cleaned up. Still, I couldn’t really afford to lose or break it.”

  “Hm. Well, if you would like to learn, I would love to teach you.”

  “Of course I’d like to learn, but I have a feeling reading is all Dorn is going to let me do until Wafren gives the go ahead.”

  “Yeah, he does seem to be more protective of you than he was of me. But I’m inclined to trust his and Wafren’s judgement on this one. Head injuries are nothing to mess around with.” Fen slowed to a stop and turned to face her. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but please don’t push yourself like you did last night. I couldn’t stand to see you hurt like you were the other day.”

  The mix of worry, love, and fear Fen was putting off made her look away. She understood why they all worried, but she wasn’t used to so many people caring and it was starting to wear on her. The restrictions were suffocating. She wanted to disappear into the forest and explore, to get a feel for her surroundings.

  “I know you’re probably tired of hearing about it, so I won’t mention it again.” He tilted his head back and forth as though debating something. “That is unless you scare the crap out of me again, then I may not be able to help it.”

  “Scare you?” She knew he had been worried about her this morning when she ran, but she hadn’t realized she had actually scared him or the others. Perhaps she’d been lost in her own emotions more than she realized.

  “The other day, when you collapsed, and you seized in my arms—”

  “A seizure?” That couldn’t be right. No one had told her or even mentioned it.

  “Yes, it’s a—”

  “No, I know what it is. Tomilin used to have them occasionally…” she trailed off so as not to dwell on how she knew what it was called. Jake always did have a horrible sense of humor. “I didn’t know that I had one.”

  “I thought they would have told you already. And Tomilin had them too?”

  “Sometimes. They didn’t start until…” She shook her head and bit down on the urge to hiss at the pain in her head. It didn’t do any good to talk or think about that day.

  A warm hand gripped her shoulder, comforting and steadying her. Fen’s eyes searched hers, then the yard behind her. “You need to tell Dorn and Wafren. They need to know. I’m not really sure how seizures work, but it might be relevant.”

  Rina let out a long breath and wondered if she was ever going to get to move on. She just wanted to let go of the past and be happy in the here and now. It felt like she was letting Jake win if she kept letting the past control her. If she kept letting herself relive it.

  “Here, let’s go tell Dorn so you can get it over with. He can tell Wafren when she comes tonight for your checkup. All right?”

  “Fine.” Rina turned and headed back to the house. If she had to do it, at least the sun was up to burn away the darkness. Too bad it couldn’t cleanse her soul too.

  They had barely made it to the porch when Dorn met them. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me I had a seizure?”

  Dorn glanced at Fen. “We weren’t sure you would know what one was and didn’t see a reason to worry you about it since you’d only had the one.”

  “Tomilin used to have them. So yes, I know what they are even if I don’t understand exactly what causes them.”

  Dorn nodded slowly, his emotions swirling down like a leaf falling from a tree. “Do you know if you’ve ever had one before? And when did Tomilin’s start?”

  Rina tensed. She didn’t have to think back to remember when they’d started, yet the memory came anyway. He’d tried to protect her, had protected her when Jake had gotten handsy that night. The thought of his hands on her bare skin made her stomach turn. Tomilin tried to push his way between them and Jake shoved him away. She’d watched in horror as Tomilin’s back hit the chair and his head bounced off the table with a sickening crunch. He’d seized then, as she tried to cradle his broken body. It wasn’t the last time he had seized either.

  Fen’s hand squeezed hers and she tried to break herself away from the memory, but she couldn’t. She was stuck there, cradling her little brother’s body as he shook and Jake cursed the seizing devil child. She hated how helpless she had been to help Tomilin, then and every other day. She had been relieved when the shaking stopped and his breaths returned to normal, until he woke up and freaked out about not being able to feel his legs. When he hadn’t been able to sit up on his own. He’d screamed and cried until Jake shoved her away and back handed him before storming out.

  Suddenly the memory passed, and she was able to see and breathe again. She closed her eyes as she willed her stomach and heart to calm, until she could answer Dorn’s question without wanting to sprint to the woods and hurl her guts up. “They started the day his back was broken. After that the beatings and,” she swallowed, “o
ther things sometimes triggered them. Sometimes I’d wake up to him having them in the middle of the night.”

  “What about you?” Dorn asked cautiously, as though he knew what memories he had stirred.

  “Not that I know of. But I didn’t remember having this one so…” She shrugged and forced herself to focus on why Dorn asked instead of the memories. “Why? Do you think I’ll end up having more of them like Tomilin?”

  “No. From what you’ve said, Tomilin’s were caused by injuries and possibly severe stress. Both Sealar and Wafren were positive that it was the swelling that caused yours. I’ll still tell Wafren just in case it turns out to be relevant.”

  “All right.” She knew Dorn was not wholly telling the truth, but she also knew he had good reason for it. “So, knife throwing?” Rina asked, sorely needing the distraction.

  Fen hesitated before he said, “Yes.”

  Rina knew he hesitated because of his concern for her, but she wished he wouldn’t. She needed to get past all of this, to reach the point that while the memories were still there, they didn’t hurt so much. She needed them to not take over. She couldn’t let Jake win.

  “I’ll fly ahead and get things ready,” Dorn said and then he was a bird, flying across the yard.

  41

  Fen

  Fen couldn’t believe no one had told her about the seizure. He didn’t know much about seizures. The way Dorn had just nodded when Rina told him about Tomilin screamed that Dorn was hiding something from Rina, and Fen had to find out. Dorn had hardly taken a moment to think about what asking Rina about Tomilin’s seizures would do, her discomfort at the topic had been obvious.

  Fen heard her heart race as the forced calm she’d instilled in herself shattered, but she hadn’t lashed out or run, she just froze. He had squeezed her hand in hopes it would help her step away from the memory. She hadn’t even squeezed his hand back, hadn’t seemed able to do anything. She’d even stopped breathing. Fen knew that Dorn had noticed, it had been written all over his face. It concerned him even more that Rina hadn’t seemed to have noticed Dorn’s expression, like she hadn’t seen anything at all.

  “Please stop,” Rina whispered and squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I always have been.”

  He wanted to argue that she wasn’t fine, that something was clearly wrong, but he didn’t want to push her away. “Sorry.” He promised himself then that he would get to the bottom of it later. For now, he would focus on knife throwing, on being the distraction she seemed to so desperately need, and on winning against Arlen.

  He hadn’t had a proper competition with Arlen in some time, it would be good to see if he could match up to Arlen’s abilities. Especially if he could get Arlen to stop going easy on him for once. He knew Arlen missed that one throw on purpose last time so as not to completely crush him.

  “Thank you.” Rina gave him a tentative little smile.

  At the sight of that smile, he wished they could go back to the playful joking of that morning. Even then she’d been holding back, but at least she had been mostly happy. Now she just felt there yet not there.

  “There’s no need to thank me.” Fen wracked his brain for something to talk about, something that he could use to distract her. Something to bring her back to the present. “So… do you have a favorite flower?”

  Rina shrugged. “Tomilin used to hide little bundles of wildflowers he found in the yard under the blankets on my side of the bed. He loved to do little things like that.”

  “Hm,” Fen wracked his brain for what type of flowers would grow low in someone’s yard south of the wall, “let me guess, tiny purple and white flowers?”

  “And sometimes dandelions, though we usually used the flowers for food and tea.”

  “Dorn does too, though he usually mixes wildflowers with something like peppermint to make it taste better. Sometimes I think he uses them just so he has an excuse to go on long walks in the woods.”

  “So, I should volunteer to go with him when he suggests that he’s going to collect stuff for tea?”

  “Yep.”

  They crested the hill leading up to the training field and Fen picked Arlen and Dorn out of the small group of warriors gathered near the far tree line. Dorn hadn’t touched the targets, and Fen knew it was because they were talking about Rina.

  Rengard nodded them over as he broke away from the group and met them halfway. “Rina, want to help me set up the targets for Arlen and Fen? It’s not a fair competition if Fen sets them up.” Rengard met Fen’s gaze, and Fen had a feeling he was about to get some of the answers he wanted.

  “Sure, we wouldn’t want to give anyone an unfair advantage.” Rina slipped her hand from his.

  Fen couldn’t help but watch her go as the warmth of her hand faded from his. It wasn’t until Rengard laughed and stopped at the supply shed that Fen turned to join Dorn and the others. He needed answers.

  “Kender,” Fen greeted the hawk shifter that had watched over Rina last night. The warrior nodded to him.

  “Is this really that urgent?” Arlen asked Dorn.

  “I’m not sure and I’d rather let Wafren be the judge of it. Fen, would you describe what just happened by the garden?” Dorn asked.

  Fen told him everything down to how she had seemed trapped, not even able to breath. The fear he’d felt as she’d stopped breathing rose in him again. “Dorn, what’s going on with Rina?”

  “Possibly nothing more than emotional turmoil, but I’d rather have Wafren check her over just to be sure. Kender, would you go ask Wafren to come here before you get some sleep?”

  “Of course.” Kender shifted and flew off toward the house.

  “Would you please tell me what you think it is?” Fen fidgeted, tapping his foot as he fought to keep his emotions calm for Rina’s sake.

  “It’s nothing to worry too much about.”

  “Dorn, don’t lie to me. She doesn’t want to think about it right now, but I need to know how I can help. Please.”

  “Fen, I’m honestly not sure. I want Wafren to look her over and make sure there isn’t an underlying issue.”

  “All right.” Fen nodded and turned to watch Rina hang up targets on the far side of the field. He really hoped Dorn was right and the seizure after Trazar’s attack had been a one time thing.

  42

  Rina

  Rina left Fen and walked across the training field with Rengard. She could feel Fen stare after her, but she did her best to ignore it.

  “So, how do you like living here?” Rengard asked.

  Rina shrugged. “I like it, though where I used to live isn’t anything to compare to. Of course, I definitely wouldn’t like to live someplace like Sadoren’s palace either.” That place had been too white, too clean, and too perfect.

  Rengard chuckled. “Yeah, I’d rather sleep in a tent than there. I’m not much for all the gold and glamor.”

  “Same. Besides, that palace felt like it was built to never be left with how big it is and I don’t much care for spending all day inside.”

  “Neither do I, though hiding in a flower patch isn’t real high on my wish list either.”

  “Yes, well, you’re the one who just had to be a beautiful white wolf in your other form.”

  Rengard chuckled and stopped at the small shed on the field’s edge. “I like you, kid.”

  “Thanks. So, what exactly are we doing?”

  Rengard opened the shed door and pulled a stack of wooden disks with ropes from a shelf. “We’re going to go hang these up in the trees.”

  “How high up?” Rina tried to hide her excitement at the excuse to climb, to do something other than walk.

  “Only as high as you can reach from the ground.” Rengard handed her a small stack of the almost spongy slabs of wood.

  “You realize I can climb?”

  “I don’t doubt it, but Arlen and Dorn want you to keep your feet on the ground.”

  Rina rolled her eyes. “They’re being overprot
ective.”

  “No, they just want what’s best for you.” Rengard tied the first target to a branch and she watched how he twisted and looped the rope. “For the moment, that’s for you to stay on the ground like a good solider.”

  “How often does that reference actually work?” Rina asked.

  “Not very often, but look, even I’ve had to sit one out after a head injury. I know you probably could climb and be fine, but sometimes it’s not worth the risk.”

  Rina sighed. “Fine, I’ll keep my feet on the ground for now.”

  “Good. I’m pretty sure Dorn and Arlen would skin me alive if I let you get into a tree.”

  “I’d like to see them try.” Rina gave Rengard a mischievous smile as she tied a target to a tree. She had a feeling Rengard could hold his own against the two of them, and it would be nice to see Arlen go all out without holding back.

  “Don’t you even think about it.” A bit of humor mixed in Rengard’s tone.

  “Well you’re just no fun.”

  “Good job with that knot.” Rengard gestured to the target she’d just tied to a low branch in a tree. “Did you already know that or?”

  “Nope, but your knot is similar to the slipknot I used on fishing nets.”

  “You’ve made nets?”

  “If Tomilin or I couldn’t make or happen upon it, we didn’t have it.”

  “Well, if you like fishing, you should talk with Kender. He loves to fish.”

  “I hate fishing. I’d much rather forage or go bow hunting. What about you?”

  “When I can’t jack Dorn’s watermelon, I hunt and sometimes forage. I usually just hunt in my wolf form though.”

  “Really?” The idea of hunting with teeth and claws was uncomfortable. Not because she was against it, rather because she was fairly certain she wouldn’t like to. She’d never really liked the feel of blood and guts on her hands, let alone in her mouth.

  “It’s not bad once you get past the gross factor. Well, you want to finish up these last few targets and I’ll go see if they’re done talking?”