A Touch of Moonlight (A Court of Moonlight Book 1) Read online

  “What about the pendant?”

  “Even with it, it takes a lot of effort to shift here.”

  “All right. So what is life like there?”

  After pulling the last of her haphazard stitches from her right hand, he stood. “How about you wait and find out for yourself? Even if you decide you don’t want to go with me, I need to get back. It’s a long walk, so you have time to decide.” He reached into one of the pockets on his vest. “You can have whatever I put in this thing. It’s not much, but—” He struggled to find what he was looking for and searched in another pocket. Finally, his fingers brushed the familiar material, and he pulled out the cloth-wrapped bundle of cheese and crackers. “Here.”

  She took it, holding it as though it was some precious thing. “How long of a walk is it?”

  “Depends on how fast you walk, but we may reach the border as soon as tomorrow evening. That is, if you don’t mind me carrying you through the night. Or we could stay in the Sun Court tomorrow and you can decide if you would like to continue on with me or turn back.”

  “So you really don’t care either way?”

  Arlen paused at the nervous tone in her voice, at the disappointment that colored her words. “I do care, but I’m not going to force you to come with me. I would never do that, especially to family.”

  Rina nodded and began walking with him, but he had a feeling that something else was bothering her. He knew this was a lot to take in. He had just turned her existence on end, but she had to have noticed before that she wasn’t like the others. Of course, she was abused, so maybe not. Gods, her little brother. His heart ached at the loss of a child he had never met. Even if it had been a halfling, Arlen should have been there to protect him. Both of them.

  “What’s wrong?” Rina stared at him.

  “Hm?”

  “That look—you were lost in thought.”

  “I was thinking about your brother. You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”

  “No. It’s fine. I don’t want to be the only one who remembers him. He was really sweet and tried to protect me from Father even though he couldn’t walk.”

  Couldn’t walk? Some type of deformity or…?

  “One day when Father was drunk he—” Her voice cracked and her jaw quivered as she fought some memory. “Tom was little and when he tried to defend me, Father broke his back. He’d been ticked off that I had been late getting home. It had taken me all day to find a deer, something large enough we would all get something to eat.”

  “You didn’t take him to a healer?”

  “I wasn’t allowed to, and I don’t know any healers.” She was quiet for a while and her steps grew heavier. “After that, all Tom was good for to Father was as a way to control me and—do things to. Tom had been trying to get me to leave him again when Father had finally snapped a couple days ago. I think he knew it was going to happen. I should have found a way to leave with him, to take him with me.” A tear ran down her cheek, and she hastily wiped it away.

  “You did all you could, and it sounds like Tom knew that.”

  “His full name was Tomilin; it’s what I always called him when Jake wasn’t around. I guess he wouldn’t have a last name since he was a halfling. Or I assume that’s what you would call it.”

  “It is, but I’d like to think Ryfon would have adopted him if he were still here.”

  “Were you two close?” Rina asked.

  “When we weren’t at each other’s throats, yes. Did you and Tom ever argue?”

  “Yes, but mainly about me leaving him. He wanted me to leave him.”

  Arlen wasn’t sure what to say, how to respond, so he let silence hang between them. Rina eventually munched on a piece of cheese, her gaze distant as she ate. She was skinny, but besides that and her hands, she seemed unscathed.

  His mind turned back to how she had come out from behind the tree. She had been so terrified when he’d wanted to take her back to her home. This young woman beside him seemed almost a different person from that frightened girl.

  “Arlen?”

  “Hm?”

  “Sorry I shot at you. I hadn’t really eaten since—” She shook her head.

  “It’s All right. It’s not like you knew who or what I was.”

  She nodded and the longer they walked, the more she began to match his stride and hold her shoulders back further. He was pretty sure she was just imitating him, but perhaps she would be all right after all. He just had to get her out of her human form and into her fae form so they’d have more time. Everything else they could sort out along the way.

  2

  Rina

  Rina’s mind swirled with thoughts. I’m fae? But what does that even mean? Mother was always cryptic about her upbringing, but surely she would have mentioned we were fae. Of course, it would explain some things. Like why mother told me so many loving stories about the Moonlight Court…

  But am I leaving one bad family for another?

  She sighed through her nose. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. Jake will kill me if I go back and there’s nothing left for me there anyway. Not without Tomilin. Her chest ached and she pushed herself to walk faster before the hollowness could swallow her whole.

  Still, can I trust him? She studied Arlen. His eyes were a vibrant teal like her own, a trait Jake had always complained about being too much like fae eyes. Pushing thoughts of Jake away again, she forced her focus onto Arlen. He walked easily beside her, but he buzzed with regret and anger. She could feel his emotions, a gift she’d always had. Perhaps that should have been a clue to her true heritage. But he knew about her heritage. He knew mother and… father, my real father. Rina struggled to rearrange her thoughts, picturing Ryfon, a man she would never get to meet, as her father.

  “What was Ryfon like?” she asked. “What did he look like?”

  As Arlen’s stride broke in rhythm, his quiet anger simmered into sadness. “Ryfon was my twin. Most people told us apart by our eyes. His had gold in them, like yours. Growing up, we did nearly everything together. When Farin became a lord, he even took us both on as his seconds. The lot of us were close growing up and we all desired things to be done differently. Your father was one of the best sword fighters in all the courts. Better than Farin and several of the other lords, actually. He was also kind to a fault. It was his kindness that got him in trouble.”

  “What happened?”

  Arlen fell silent as guilt laced his emotions once more. She didn’t like pushing, prying into this thing that so clearly pained him, but she needed to know. Had to know what had happened and why Arlen felt so guilty about it. He hadn’t pushed her though, so maybe she shouldn’t push either.

  “It can wait, if—”

  “No, you need to know.” Arlen’s emotions quieted in the same way Tomilin’s had whenever he’d prepared to talk about his seizures and the things Jake had done to him. Guilt ate her. “He was tricked by a mind bender from the Dawn Court into stealing a flame from the Eternal Fire in the Fire Court.”

  “Eternal Fire?” Rina interrupted.

  “It’s a magic flame a previous lord created as he died. Current lords draw power from it. Usually they would have killed a thief on the spot, but since he was Farin’s second, the Lord of the Fire Court imprisoned him. Farin was forced to disown Ryfon or start a war… I don’t think he will ever forgive himself for that decision. It took me a while to forgive him myself, but we weren’t ready for a war and he had to choose between Rye and all of our people.

  “When Rye was first captured, the Fire Court decided that the mate of a flame stealer couldn’t be trusted, so your mother fled. It took me three years to track down the mind bender after your mother left. Then it was another year to clear Ryfon’s name.”

  “And by then Mother was already dead.”

  Arlen nodded, the muscles of his jaw quivering as he clenched his teeth. Rina could feel his emotions shrink away from her as he suppressed them. She couldn’t help but feel ba
d for him. He had spent years trying to clear her parent’s names and even longer looking for Lyra—for nothing. Lyra, Rina thought to herself. Her mother had gone by Lauren, but she was hiding so, of course, she would have changed her name.

  “What was mother like before…?”

  “Your mother was the balancing force for Ryfon. She was caring, but she knew everything had to have its limits and she often reined Rye in. She had a beautiful singing voice. That’s what drew Rye to her. He was in the Starlight Court on business when he heard her and followed her voice to find her sitting in a tree, staring up at the moon.”

  “Mother never sang, she only ever hummed to us. Even when I asked her to sing with me...” The memories themselves were distant enough to be hazy, but she’d dwelled on them enough to remember the soft sound of her mother’s humming. She had hummed while they’d gardened and as she’d rocked Rina to sleep.

  “She had a very distinct voice. Anyone searching for her would have recognized it.”

  Rina could feel his emotions dip with regret and guilt the same way her own had every time she’d failed to protect Tomilin.

  “I’m sorry you never got to truly know either of them.”

  “Don’t be. You did everything you could.”

  Arlen gave her a sad smile.

  They walked in silence as the trail darkened all around them. Her eyes started to grow heavy as they struggled to stay focused. The last few days had been a restless blur of hunger and pain. She was exhausted, but yet, she didn’t want to sleep.

  Whenever she closed her eyes, all she could see was the way Tomilin had gone limp in Jake’s grasp. How his thin legs had dangled over the dirt floor of their home, his eyes bulging as he’d gasped for air.

  No. Don’t remember him that way. Ignoring the desire to sleep, she forced herself to see his smiling face, to see the eyes that had shone with life and joy even in that horrid place. How he’d left her little wildflowers under her side of the blankets.

  She stumbled on a yawn. Her eyes stung with unshed tears.

  “Do you mind if I carry you?” Arlen asked as he glanced at her. “You can get some sleep and we’ll make better time that way.”

  “Are you saying that I’m slow?” She forced herself to joke, to let humor help her through the darkness.

  “No. I’m saying that your human form is slow.”

  “How do you know? I may be the slowest fae there’s ever been.”

  “But you would still be faster than your human form.” A smile graced Arlen’s lips, and she felt a spark of melancholy happiness as his eyes shone with a hint of amusement.

  He needed it, too, then—the humor to get through the day. “Fine. You can carry me.”

  He scooped her up midstep, taking her off guard. She tensed, terrified over how easily he’d done it. But he didn’t throw her at the ground as Jake would’ve. He just held her tight to his chest, her legs draped over his arm. Forcing herself to breathe, she focused on the ground beneath his feet. She was surprised at how fast he walked now that he carried her. He was moving faster than she could run, and he was hardly putting any effort into it.

  “Why didn’t you offer to do this sooner?” she asked, resting her head on his chest.

  He smiled faintly. “I wasn’t sure how you would take the offer. I really hope that you decide to come home with me. I think Dorn would like you.”

  “Who’s Dorn?”

  “My mate. He’s a bit of a mother hen. I’m not sure how I would explain to him that I found you to just let you go to live the life of a mortal should you decide not to come with me.”

  “What if I never learn to shift?” Even as she told herself it didn’t matter, her stomach knotted with unease. Would he have to send me back? Will they accept me if I can’t truly be one of them?

  “Then we’ll keep trying, but we won’t turn you away for something you can’t control.”

  Control… “Do all fae really have special gifts?”

  “Yes, and some of them you’ll even be able to use in human form.”

  “I have a lot to learn, don’t I?”

  “Yes, and it won’t be easy, but Dorn and I will be there with you every step of the way.”

  Her quiver bounced against Arlen’s leg, making the arrows rattled. She fingered the feather fletchings. They were splitting and had bits dangling off. She’d have to replace them again soon. And they weren’t the only things that needed work either. She needed to carve a new bow. Ever since she’d fallen out of a tree a couple weeks back, drawing it had become too easy since she’d carved a new spot to string it. Sighing, she looked down at her clothes. She could do with a new set of them too. She hadn’t properly washed them in ages for fear of them disintegrating, like her first set already had.

  Feeling his gaze on her, she looked up to find him eyeing her bow. “You know, I have a spare bow and quiver of arrows you can have when we get home. You won’t need to use them unless you want to though.”

  “Really?” She looked up at him as he nodded. But why? Why take me home with you? Why freely give me things?

  Beside her, Arlen hummed in thought. “I should warn you though…”

  “About what?” Her voice came out with a bit of a squeak. She wanted to believe this wasn’t too good to be true, but there was this lingering doubt in the back of her mind. A warning could show the cracks in his offer.

  “We male fae can be a little protective of our children and females. You will be one of us if you choose to come with me. If we ever seem angry, know that it isn’t at you.”

  She had spent so much of her life trying to protect Tom, to provide for them, that she didn’t know how to do anything else. Of course, if all fae could move this fast, then what chance did she have at protecting herself? Let alone anyone else. She hadn’t even been able to protect Tom from Jake, and he was only a human. Tomilin… Damn, she missed him. She missed the way he’d always begged her for stories about what she’d seen in the forest that day. She even missed the way he’d smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead before bed. She had protested the kisses once when Jake had glared, but Tomilin had said it was his way of repaying her for all the love she showed him.

  Holding onto those happy memories, Rina finally drifted off to sleep.

  She woke bleary-eyed the next day to find the sun peeking softly through the trees. She’d never been this far north. Trees were lusher here, their canopy thick and green above them.

  “Good afternoon, sleepy head,” Arlen said with a bit more cheer in his voice than she felt was necessary. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Apparently.” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes with the heel of her hand. “Would you put me down? I need to stretch.”

  Laughing, Arlen slowed to a stop and set her down. The moment her feet hit the ground, she arched her back and raised her arms over her head. Her back popped the whole way up. Sighing with relief, she lowered her arms, her muscles looser than they had been in some time. It wasn’t until she’d finished that she noticed Arlen was watching her with one brow raised.

  “What? Your back not pop when you stretch?”

  “No. It sounded painful.”

  Rina shrugged and started to walk. “It actually feels good.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “So, what has you in such a good mood?”

  “Well. Since you slept longer than I thought you would, we’ve made good time. We will reach the border in a few hours.”

  “Sorry about that. I haven’t slept much since…” Tomilin.

  Arlen’s happy energy dulled with understanding. “Don’t think anything of it.”

  “Don’t you need sleep too?”

  “Yes, but I can go a few days without, and I promised Farin I would be back by tomorrow morning, so…” He shrugged.

  “Will I have to call him Lord Farin? Or could I just call him Farin as you do?”

  “So you’re coming with me?” She could feel his excitement skyrocketing with the thought, ev
en if he didn’t show it on the outside.

  “I… It’s not like there’s anything left for me here.” Pain shot from her chest until she felt it as a hollow ache in every bit of her being. She needed to run, to feel something else. No. Running didn’t help. You have to try something else—anything else. “I… I’d actually been contemplating giving up when you found me.” She chewed her lip as she looked away from him. She hated the empty, worthless feeling that had settled into her when she’d buried Tomilin next to Mother.

  “Oh…” Arlen’s excitement sank like a rock in a pond. He slowed to a stop. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that alone, but I’m glad you already feel you can confide in me.” He reached toward her, but stopped himself, his fingers curling as he did. “May I hug you?”

  “I— Yes. You don’t have to ask.”

  Arlen pulled her against his chest, his arms a protective cocoon around her. “You’ll never have be alone like that again.”

  She leaned into him, letting herself believe his words were true. Arlen’s warm embrace was nice, if not a little awkward. She hardly remembered hugging someone who was standing up. Tomilin was all she had, and it had been years since he’d been able to stand. Her eyes stung with the coming tears and she fought them back. She wanted Arlen to be happy so she could feel his happy energy. It had been so long since she’d felt true happiness.

  “Thank you, Arlen,” she said as he hugged her. “But you never answered my question.”

  Arlen chuckled as he pulled back. “You’re just like Lyra, always after answers. You should call him Lord Farin until he decides otherwise. I should actually be referring to him that way around you until he accepts you, but…” Arlen shrugged. “I never was much for formality.”

  “Why do I have the feeling that’s gotten you in trouble a few times?”

  “Probably because it has. I see you have also gotten Lyra’s perceptiveness. How much of other people’s emotions do you feel?”

  “Uh… I could feel your regret and anger yesterday, if that’s what you’re asking.”